Bollynesia - The World of Bollywood

2005-12-14T19:21:00.000-08:00

Shaadi No. 1..Humour undone

After giving us a little hope with Mujhse Shaadi Karogi & scraping through with Maine Pyar Kyun Kiya..with Shaadi No. 1, David Dhawan dives to rock bottom.

The actors did a riduculous job which exaggerated the crappiness dished out by the dialogue, song & story writers.

Shaadi No. 1,
makes you wanna kill yourself with a gun.
That isn't exactly fun.
So hun,
if someonez trying to get you to see this one..
Run!

If you think my poetry sucks, try watching the movie.

2005-12-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

Holiday goodies from Bollywood

HOT videos..HOTTER guys... oh ya I think there are some girls in there too...

- Abhishek Bachchan in Right Here Right Now from the Bluff Master OST.
Note the Raghav-ish Ritesh Deshmukh in the Bluffmaster video and then (if you care to) check out this probably pre-movies video that I found of him from donno how long ago.

- Arjun Rampal in Mama Told Me from the Ek Ajnabi OST.

- John Abraham in Yeh Hai Meri Kahani (Strings) from the Zinda OST.

Since Baby B is so hot..my new name for him is WasaB...get it?

2005-11-28T16:35:00.000-08:00

This long weekend confirmed that I am in an abusive relationship with Bollywood. Here is a list of what I subjected myself to..

Barsaat - Brain Drain Rain
Just when you think Bollywood is moving away from old set formulae, a Barsaat comes along to keep your expectations from Bolly in check.
This Bobby-Bipasha-Priyanka starrer is a mediocre production. Totally avoidable.
Recap - Bobby Deol's debut film was titled Barsaat too. Full (or should I say fool) circle?

Naina - An eye for "The Eye"
Ok so this Urmila thriller is not an old Bollywood formula..but a newish Japanese one. Bad enough the story is a rip-off, but not even using any originality for the title, now that is just plain sad.
The good thing was it was songless & short like the original. Unfortunately the short reel-time wasn't used well. The speed was very inconsistent. While some scenes seemed kind of slow, others seemed very rushed.
It is watch-able, but is it enjoyable..now that is debatable.

Kyon Ki... Priyadarshan films bhi kabhi achi thi
Priyadarshan gives his 1986 Malayam film Thalavattam a new direction in the form of his 2005 hindi release, Kyon Ki.
I don't know how the original was but this one lacked soul. None of the emotions felt realistic. Salman Khan is the only factor that made the movie watch-able. Rimi Sen needs to work on her dialogue delivery and Kareena needs to be more picky about her roles. Then maybe I should just be more picky about the movies I watch :S

Main, Meri Patni Aur Woh - a simple long story about a complexed short man
MMPAW reminded me of the simplicity of the Basu Chatterjee and Hrishikesh Mukherjee movies from the 70's. It is hard to criticize this honest and sincere looking attempt made by director Chandan Arora. I like the director's unpretentious style which was even seen in his debut "Main Madhuri Dixit Bana Chahti Hoon". Rajpal Yadav is a fine actor and in this movie he is supported by other very efficient actors like the female lead, Rituparna Sengupta, and Kay Kay Menon.
This movie is like a bowl of khichdi. If you are in the mood for something basic, this would be a good pick but if it is masaledar body parts of a chick(en) your heart desires, skip it.

Weekly score: I get an A for patience and D for selectivity

2005-11-16T23:23:00.000-08:00

Hi Hello.. Salaam Namaste!

After hoping to catch it on the big screen for all these weeks, I finally saw this Saif-Preity flick at home.
+ cute, progressive, catchy music, funny guest appearances
- story not smoothened out, slightly draggy in parts
+/- flashes of Hugh Grant's Nine Months
= a movie that is a decent timepass watch and a soundtrack that is a fun listen

Special mention - Arshad Warsi. IMO, he has a fine sense of timing for comedy and is a pretty good dancer. Under-utilised methinks.

Tit-bit - Preity's real-life hero (Ness Wadia) made a lil special appearance in the 'Preity in the bus' scene. He is the one seated next to her. I saw this info on the Internet, wish I was observant enough to notice that on my own.
Guess the director was making the most of all the crew's visitors, coz even Arshad Warsi's wife Maria Goretti & toddler son Zeke were roped in for a scene.

Talking about movies with pre-marital pregnancies, I even saw Ekta Kapoor's latest film production, Koi Aap Sa. This K-queen film might not have her brother dear but it still has her other favourite person, special gal-pal Natassha. The main male lead of the film is Aftab, who hasn't (ever) had much luck with being solo hero.
I remember watching a TV talk show with Tarot reader Sunita Menon & Ekta Kapoor, where Sunita told Ekta that as per her astrological reading she should wait a while before she dabbles with Bollywood. Ekta, for your own good and ours, listen!

2005-11-15T00:37:00.000-08:00

Meet the Joker

So I hear Bollywood is making a movie inspired by "Meet the Fockers". I wonder what the Indian version of the Fockers will be..Choudharis maybe? Get it? :")

2005-11-09T16:28:00.000-08:00

KISMAT - dekho mat!

Call it bad luck or mere stupidity, I spent today afternoon watching this disaster from 2004. Kismat is the kind of movie that even the crew might not have made through awake.

This Bobby Deol-Priyanka Chopra starrer is a super tacky production with absolutely no saving grace.

Talking about Priyanka Chopra movies, 1 that I thought deserved a little more attention than it got was Karam. It was slickly picturized and the music was pretty good.
Check out the song videos @ http://ww.smashits.com/index.cfm?Page=Video&SubPage=ShowClips&VideoID=1365. Make sure you watch 'Tera hi karam'.

Moral of the story: If your kismat is bad your good karam goes unnoticed.

2005-11-08T19:10:00.000-08:00

Hello hello hello...

I went to LA this week and made an interesting observation. The Hollywood film industry seems to be looking @ Bollywood for inspiration for naming their new movies. There is Doom (Dhoom), Prime (Prem), Cars (Karz)...

Ok so maybe I am pushing the corny limit here..but hey..I did give you guys a break for a week.

So today I watched a C grade movie..ummm..with what Meghna Naidu had to show, maybe I should be calling it a D grade film :S Though going by what I really thought of the movie, it should be an F grade.

Yes, I did actually watch the "Kaliyon Ka Chaman" gal's latest debacle - Mashooka.

My advice, rent a porn flick instead. The storyline will probably be better.

Sucker for punishment? You can watch video clips of the movie at: http://www.bollyvista.com/movieclips/s/288/1

2005-11-01T15:59:00.000-08:00

Ok so I'm back..after 3 long days of nursing a migraine attack..which to think of it...started with JAMES!!!

James, James, James..3 days of my life I suffered..and its you me blames!

This Ram Gopal Varma production was a real dud and apparently RGV (now) sees that too. Instead of a simple "Oops, I'm sorry"....he is risking a "Oops, I did it again!" by remaking this mistake.

With probably a gazillion aspiring actresses outside RGV's production house, how does a Nisha Kothari get a break? Ok the question should probably be WHY??? Her introduction song was short of being pornographic by one very fine line..of fabric. I never thought I'd say these words, she actually made Urmila seem aesthetic.

I read that the filmmakers thought that Nisha was the right mix of sexiness & innocence. Now that is probably how I'd describe RGV's other find - Mohit Ahlawat. Ok so he might be a tad bit bimbo-ish but he was the only reason I made it through the rest of the crude blood & skin display. I can kinda see how RGV thinks he'll make a good Jai (Sholay). He does have the strong & silent thing about him.

Unfortunately for Mohit Ahlawat his voice is not half as impressive as Randeep Hooda's.

Coming to Sush's boy-toy Randeep Hooda..it is sad that his movie D-The Company was so underrated. He did a rather decent job even.

Ok while we are talking about cute Bolly guys, how can I miss out Abhishek & Saif. Well apparently I'll have to rework on my sidecart fantasy..coz Saif has now replaced Abhishek Bachchan as Veeru in Sholay.

Hooda've thought RGV will Abhi decide to take the Saif route to Mo-hits?

2005-10-28T17:36:00.000-07:00

From new(s) to old..

BOLLYESTER

= Retro-pix
So, I found this really cool webpage with a collection of old vinyl LP covers:
http://bollylp.users.btopenworld.com/recordgallery.html
TIP: Makes a funky desktop wallpaper.

= Retro-fix
Here is an old bit of trivia for the day..
Did you know that Sholay won only one Filmfare aware in the year it released?
The Best Editor award to M.S. Shinde

Filmfare gave the movie it's due share only in 2005, by awarding the movie the Best Film of 50 years of cinema.
More Sholay trivia: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073707/trivia.

= Retro-mix
Apparently Sholay couldn't have won any awards for original music - check out:
- Mehbooba from Sholay (1975) and Say you love me by Demis Roussos (1974).
- O jab tak hai jaan from Sholay (1975) and Jomeh by Iranian singer Googoosh (1972)

For more details and even more music that has inpired Bollywood music (re)directors - http://www.itwofs.com/hindi-rdb.html

If you haven't had enough of Sholay yet..worry not! There is more coming your way courtesy Ram Gopal Varma (RGV) in his forthcoming 21st century version of Sholay called (as of now)..erm.."Ram Gopal Varma Ki(/Ka/Ke) Sholay".
So the line-up as it seems is:
Gabbar Singh (Amjad Khan) = Amitabh Bachchan
Veeru (Dharmendra) = Abhishek Bachchan
Jai (Amitabh Bachchan) = Mohit Ahlawat
Thakur (Sanjeev Kumar) = Mohanlal

I recently saw the original Sholay again & realized that Amitabh looked pretty darn hot in it. Going by Abhishek's recent movies, the remake will probably be another drool fest (for me anyway)

While I go dream of sharing the side-cart with Abhishek...you go ahead and leave your feedback on the comments page.

Thanks for stopping by!

2005-10-28T00:52:00.000-07:00

The Lucky Glover

So after all the halagula tho goodie-gurl Ash might still not have made it in a Bond flick, bad-man Gulshan Grover has been roped in for Casino Royale, the new Bond project.
Links to info:
http://inhome.rediff.com/movies/2005/oct/27bond.htm
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1530712,001100030009.htm

Going by Ash's last "international" movie, Bride & Prejudice, her loss is our gain.

**Random tit-bit**
Aishwarya & Gulshan Grover might not share this movie but they do share a pet name - Gullu

2005-10-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

=Bollynesia opening nite special - 2 bits of chocolate=

Bitter Sweet CHOCOLATE
Main Actors: Anil Kapoor, Irfan Khan, Tanushree Dutta, Sunil Shetty, Arshad Warsi, Emraan Hashmin, Sushma Reddy
Director: Vivek Agnihotri
Music Director: Pritam
Released: Sep 16, 2005

- Starting with the good - Picturization of this crime-suspense flick is kind of slick..the London backdrop adds good flavour.

- Too bad the story is just a dumbed-down version of a Hollywood classic. Let's say now you don't have to imagine what The Usual Suspects would have been like as a musical.

- While Anil Kapoor & Irfan Khan display their acting talents, the women display their skin. Like why did Sushma Reddy's character have to rip her shirt open to prove her feminity? Maybe I just don't have the right "head" to think of the answer ;).
Its funny, I found over 6 sites with the same article on Tanushree, titled: "I want to be known as a good actress, not as a hot symbol" and Tanushree..even after reading that 6 times..I am still not convinced! I mean have you seen your movies?
Well anywho, Sunil Shetty, Arshad Warsi and Emraan Hashmi weren't given enough to do. Emraan almost looked bored in the movie, well that might have something to do with this being his only movie (I've seen) where he has no love-making scene..heh

- Speaking of Emraan..he is some sort of lucky-mascot for Bollywood OSTs (even though like this one, most aren't deserving of the O in OST ;)). All his movies seem to churn out a hit song or two (Bheege Hooth, Woh Lamhe, Aashiq Banaya..) and this is no exception. A youthful collection by Pritam of Dhoom-fame.
~Bheegha bheegha sa yeh December - fun-ish (note Sunidhi's accent;)) *"Adaptation" of Abrar ul Haq's December*
~Halka halka sa yeh nasha - made a good promo song
~Kool kool sa yeh review - hehe..ok so i got a little carried away there
~Jhuki Jhuki - the obligatory item number. Like with Tanushree Dutta in the rest of the songs..there was actually a need for a separate one.
~Khalish - good rockish feel.
~Zahreeli raatein - clubbish - my kind of poison. *"Inspired" by Jal's Aadat*
~Mummy ("Kehte hai sabhi ke badi hot hoon main. Tell you what, tequila ka ek shot hoon main. Magar khayal yeh rahe zara, mummy ko nahin hai pata. Mummy se na kehna") - Please tell me this song was just added for comic relief! I mean seriously..its seriously funny! It is very..mmm..Anu Malikish.
Well overall, Pritam offers a good package..ok that just didn't sound right :")

- What definitely wasn't music to my ears was Tanushree Dutta's voiceover..done by Antakshari-lady Pallavi Joshi. Ok so Pallavi is the director's wife and all..but really..her? I even read that she "groomed" the two leading female actors - Tanushree & Sushma Reddy for the movie...come on now..Pallavi Joshi??!!

- So a little tit-bit - This was supposed to be Tanushree Dutta's first release, but since she had no written contract with the makers of Chocolate, she signed up for Aashiq Banaya Aapne. Now that released before Chocolate and according to Chocolate director, Vivek Agnihotri, that ruined the just-sexy-not-sleazy image of Tanushree which he tried very hard to portray by even editing out kissing and seduction scenes from his own movie.

- BTW, am I just imagining it or is Bollywood doling out Ash look alikes? First there was that "Lucky" girl & now Tanushree. Dhekne main Ash hain toh cash hain...ok that was lame even for me..and I am not to critical of my own humour.

Let's say this film was like a Ferrero Rocher chocolate - attractive packaging, nutty in parts but overall pleasant to the senses.

Here are a few Chocolate related links:
The official website: http://www.chocolatethefilm.com/
Previews: http://www.indiafm.com/movies/trailers/12354/index.html
Online music album: http://www.musicindiaonline.com/l/17/s/movie_name.7971/

P.S. For those wondering why I haven't included the basic story outline..I hate knowing the story of a movie beforehand..and I am assuming there are more people like me out there. With this one, having seen Usual Suspects you know more than you need to anyway.

Rounding up today..
A first for me - I shared chocolate!

2005-10-26T16:45:00.000-07:00

Bollynesia ('bä-lE'nE-zh&,) - the world of Bollywood.

Yes, I went with this title even though it sounds like a state of mind where you forget how bad the last Hindi movie you saw was & go for another.

Well either way, I am sure there are a lot of Bollynesians out there..and for you I write this Bollywood log..which I'll call..umm....Blog!

--------APPLAUSE HERE----------

bollywood